Change Will Happen

Photo credit: Brian McNeill

Brian McNeill has a strong and deep faith. He is a member of Dignity Twin Cities, a community of LGBTQIA+ Catholics, their families and friends that provides them with a spiritual refuge. Dignity Twin Cities is a chapter of Dignity USA which “works for respect and justice for people of all sexual orientations, genders, and gender identities—especially gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, asexual and intersex persons—in the Catholic Church and the world through education, advocacy, and support.”  Brian is gay, and his own journey to fully embrace who God made him to be led him to Dignity Twin Cities. Brian believes that the work they are doing to create a better church, one that fully welcomes and accepts LGBTQIA+ Catholics, is and will continue to happen despite efforts to stop it.

It was OK

Brian grew up attending Catholic schools and mass every Sunday. He describes his parents as devout Catholics with his dad attending daily mass. As he got older, Brian dated women but never felt any attraction, but he was attracted to men. He gradually came to accept that he was gay, but he kept it to himself. Growing up, he’d never heard the word homosexual spoken in his house. When a very close friend of his older brother’s came out as gay in college, he was never spoken of or a guest at their house ever again.

Brian did what a lot of men in his position did and continue to do: he joined the seminary as a way to deny his sexuality. He figured he would become a priest, live a life of celibacy and that would solve the problem. Brian went off to Maryknoll Seminary in Ossining, New York, and while he went there to hide and deny his homosexuality, there were people there who would not let him do that.  His spiritual advisor was a nun, who Brian says, “basically dragged me out of the closet.” She along with others helped Brian understand that it was OK to be gay, and it was OK to be gay and Catholic. Brian began to work on his own internalized homophobia. Eventually, before he was ordained, and while training as a seminarian in Bolivia and Chile in the early 1980’s, he concluded becoming a priest wasn’t for him.

Brian connected with a Dignity chapter in New York City before leaving the seminary. In 1985, he moved back home to the Twin Cities to care for his aging father and joined Dignity Twin Cities. At that time, they were celebrating their masses at the Newman Center on the University of Minnesota campus. But two years later, they were kicked out by the Archbishop and had to find a new home, which they eventually did at Prospect Park United Methodist Church.   

Also, in 1986, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who went on to become Pope Benedict XVI, issued the Vatican “Halloween Letter” that declared, "the inclination of the homosexual person itself must be seen as an objective disorder...an intrinsic moral evil.” When the letter came out, Brian knew in his gut it was wrong.

Jesus Talked to Everyone

Over the years, Twin Cities Dignity has worked hard to engage the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis (Archdiocese) on a number of issues. Most recently, they conducted a national survey about employment protections for LGBTQIA+ Catholics working at Catholic schools, churches and dioceses. Twin Cities Dignity specifically looked to the dioceses of Buffalo and Syracuse, NY and Lexington, KY, which adopted employment protection language for LGBTQIA+ employees. Despite multiple attempts, they have not been able to get a meeting about the issue with a representative of the Archdiocese. 

Pope Francis has done some good things for LGBTQIA+ Catholics. At the beginning of this year, he called on Bishops to reject laws that criminalize homosexuality. Brian was quoted in  the Star Tribune as saying it was an answer to his prayers, because there are still too many countries where people are persecuted and or killed for being gay. Brian believes that Pope Francis could do so much more to create a church that is accepting of LGBTQIA+ Catholics, but he hasn’t been willing to go any further so far.

Brian isn’t always hopeful doing this work. The Archdiocese is hard to engage, and in many instances has refused to speak with Dignity Twin Cities representatives. This confounds Brian, because Jesus talked to everyone.  Conservative Catholics are pushing back hard on any efforts to change the Church’s teaching on homosexuality and believe any gains made under Pope Francis will be rolled back once a new conservative Pope is installed. 

Signs of Hope

But Brian isn’t giving up. He says it’s partly because he is Irish, partly because he is stubborn but mostly because his faith tells him what he is doing is right. He takes it as a sign of hope that he stays in the work. He thinks it is important for Catholics in countries like the US to advocate for change in the Church. They can do so without fear of retaliation, which is not the case in over 60 nations, some with Christian majorities and some without, but where the Church, due to its international presence, is a respected voice. Brian sees proof that change is happening by the German Catholic Church voting to approve blessings for same-sex couples.  Brian also finds hope in the teachings of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit theologian and paleontologist, who wrote of the “cosmic Christ - the idea that the universe and everything in it is constantly moving towards a point of perfection defined by unity and love.” 

Brian believes there are hard times ahead for LGBTQIA+ Catholics, their families, friends and supporters, but the change that so many long for will happen. The biggest need that Dignity Twin Cities has is for more people to join as members. He wants heterosexual Catholics to join in the work of creating a more inclusive and loving Catholic Church, because while they may be comfortable, fulfilled and active in their specific church and or school, it is part of an ecosystem where LGBTQIA+ Catholics are suffering.

Brian finds strength and hope in the community of people who are doing this work. They pray, look to each other and God and support one another. Brian learned during the time he spent in Chile that is how people survived and resisted under authoritarianism. The community he is a part of, their collective resistance, support and prayer is as real, beautiful, precious and important as the change they are working towards.